Anxiety
There is some work I am trying to get down for sometime now and everytime that I think the work is almost done and could go ahead and relax something or the other crops up and once again I am back at finishing the task at hand. There are times I start to question if the task I am trying to do is maybe not meant to be and hence all the road blocks. At times I wish I could just fast froward the hard part and get to the final results.
Today I saw 'Little Miss Sunshine' and there was a conversation in the film that stuck a note with me. It character says that we learn all the lessons we have to learn in life when we are going through a hard phase in life and if it weren't for those hard phases we would have a happy but non meaningful life. I kind of agree with what he had to say.
Tomorrow is going to a medical test day for me. I was alright about it until a few days ago but now I am a little worried. I haven't had unsafe sex since I got myself tested the last time and there are no visible symptoms of any other illnesses but I think the anxiety is going to last until I don't know the results. The hard part is that due to some bureaucratic formality I may not come to know the results for a while. So here is to a week or two of anxiety!!
Photo Credit: Mikhor
Today I saw 'Little Miss Sunshine' and there was a conversation in the film that stuck a note with me. It character says that we learn all the lessons we have to learn in life when we are going through a hard phase in life and if it weren't for those hard phases we would have a happy but non meaningful life. I kind of agree with what he had to say.
Tomorrow is going to a medical test day for me. I was alright about it until a few days ago but now I am a little worried. I haven't had unsafe sex since I got myself tested the last time and there are no visible symptoms of any other illnesses but I think the anxiety is going to last until I don't know the results. The hard part is that due to some bureaucratic formality I may not come to know the results for a while. So here is to a week or two of anxiety!!
Photo Credit: Mikhor
3 comments:
Hey buddy..I'm in Nepal. I totally know how you feel about tests. I need to do some when I get back to Australia but I'm totally afriad of them even though I'm safe! Can you email me your details again! See you on Sunday!
I liked the film Little Miss Sunshine. It is cute.
If you have no reason to believe that you could be HIV+ then you need to challenge your thinking on it. It is an irrational fear.
I used to work in a clinic and saw it all the time. Although at the time I worked in the clinic not much was known so people had more reason to fear contracting it.
Is it exciting to be catching up with NSSG?
It's not as much as the fear of the HIV+ results as it is not knowing the results of any of the tests.
The thing is that it is for some official purpose and the results can make or break my plans. So its more to do with it. Some of the test that I have undergone through today are ones I have never had before.
I was real anxious about meeting NSSG but I so caught up with all this bureaucratic haggling that I have little time to think about it now. But surely looking forward to it.
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