Lonely together
Picture Credit : JinnwooI love this guy's (Jinnwoo) photography and his comment to this picture more than the picture itself. This is what he writes:
stop tricking me with your body. Stop lying with it and cursing with it. Don't win me over with your body. Although I'm deaf to their voice and the things they told you, i'm blind to the way you crease and curve under my fingers now.
Why are you here anyway? don't tell me your feet lead the way by memory before you found a will to tell them no, because you'd forgotten a thousand times before - the way to my house, the way to be with me, the way to my bed. Are you lonely? Does he not treat you good enough? does he not know your body like i did or has he just caught the catch too many times that it highlights your naivety and your lack of controll in the presents of the naked male form? Maybe i will tell him you stopped by, and he'll ask me why and i'll say "we were just being lonely...together." would he like that? would that make him angry, like a real man?
you sit in my lap and you say "roll over", so what? i roll over, i play dead, you walk out and we begin again? the game is so sweet but takes so long and you bore me. When your bodies lost it's tircks and its tickles what will seduce me then? When my bordom for your giggle spreads like disease and our bed is built for sleeping in, what will seduce me then? your caring nature for all living things? I ask sarcastically - the memories and the poems you stole? no
baby we are nothing, we are bodies, we are shells without insides and noises without happy ears, and a moral without a guilt. Don't you come by here, i think this should be the last time we are lonely, together. don't you think?
stop tricking me with your body. Stop lying with it and cursing with it. Don't win me over with your body. Although I'm deaf to their voice and the things they told you, i'm blind to the way you crease and curve under my fingers now.
Why are you here anyway? don't tell me your feet lead the way by memory before you found a will to tell them no, because you'd forgotten a thousand times before - the way to my house, the way to be with me, the way to my bed. Are you lonely? Does he not treat you good enough? does he not know your body like i did or has he just caught the catch too many times that it highlights your naivety and your lack of controll in the presents of the naked male form? Maybe i will tell him you stopped by, and he'll ask me why and i'll say "we were just being lonely...together." would he like that? would that make him angry, like a real man?
you sit in my lap and you say "roll over", so what? i roll over, i play dead, you walk out and we begin again? the game is so sweet but takes so long and you bore me. When your bodies lost it's tircks and its tickles what will seduce me then? When my bordom for your giggle spreads like disease and our bed is built for sleeping in, what will seduce me then? your caring nature for all living things? I ask sarcastically - the memories and the poems you stole? no
baby we are nothing, we are bodies, we are shells without insides and noises without happy ears, and a moral without a guilt. Don't you come by here, i think this should be the last time we are lonely, together. don't you think?
According to a social networking site my fortune cookie says, "Find release from your cares, have a good time."
Now if only that was as easy as it sounds. After many days of action and stress finally today was rather inconsequential and mundane. I wanted to get out of dark place I was in but at the same time I didn't want to take an initiative to call on somebody. The safest bet was to go visit my straight friend and just be numbed by his non stop blabber. Well that didn't happen. At last when I could not wait for the phone to ring anymore I decided to take some much needed action. You all would know how it's to wait for the phone to ring not because you'd want it to (maybe you do) but because it has kinda become a habit to hear a familiar voice but at the same time you are like, "What the hell are you thinking and why do you want to complicate things once again."
At last I decided to go out and I met Hobbes. It was nice catching up over a cup of coffee and his non stop enthusiasm kept me upbeat but somehow I was much quieter than I normally am and I didn't like the way I was behaving and so I decided to drop him home rather than ruin his evening too with my gloominess.
I went out to the market for a while but nothing seemed to entertain me and I decided to come back home. I was almost home when Jughead called and I decided to go see him expecting that his company would cheer my spirits. It was the most uncomfortable time that we have spend together. He was strangely reserved and quiet and I prodded a bit but he didn't divulge any reasons for his behavior and so after a short drive I left him home too.
And now here I am doing the only thing that I know helps me get things out of my system. Blogging about it all makes me feel that somehow I would gain some clarity on it all and face the situation in a more responsible manner. It seems like the last post was an indication of things to come. I once again feel lonely.. not sad though.. just a bit off balance... need to get back to the routine.
Now if only that was as easy as it sounds. After many days of action and stress finally today was rather inconsequential and mundane. I wanted to get out of dark place I was in but at the same time I didn't want to take an initiative to call on somebody. The safest bet was to go visit my straight friend and just be numbed by his non stop blabber. Well that didn't happen. At last when I could not wait for the phone to ring anymore I decided to take some much needed action. You all would know how it's to wait for the phone to ring not because you'd want it to (maybe you do) but because it has kinda become a habit to hear a familiar voice but at the same time you are like, "What the hell are you thinking and why do you want to complicate things once again."
At last I decided to go out and I met Hobbes. It was nice catching up over a cup of coffee and his non stop enthusiasm kept me upbeat but somehow I was much quieter than I normally am and I didn't like the way I was behaving and so I decided to drop him home rather than ruin his evening too with my gloominess.
I went out to the market for a while but nothing seemed to entertain me and I decided to come back home. I was almost home when Jughead called and I decided to go see him expecting that his company would cheer my spirits. It was the most uncomfortable time that we have spend together. He was strangely reserved and quiet and I prodded a bit but he didn't divulge any reasons for his behavior and so after a short drive I left him home too.
And now here I am doing the only thing that I know helps me get things out of my system. Blogging about it all makes me feel that somehow I would gain some clarity on it all and face the situation in a more responsible manner. It seems like the last post was an indication of things to come. I once again feel lonely.. not sad though.. just a bit off balance... need to get back to the routine.
5 comments:
It is sad hear about this most uncomfortable conversation with Jughead.
Time, space (for all people involved) and this blog to vent is the recipe for getting back to routine!
Any luck with the apartment hunting?
Take care....
I agree with you GK. I tried to keep my distance from everyone involved today and the only point of contact was a text or phone call. Feel much lighter today.
No luck as of yet with the apartment hunting :-(
Apartment hunting can be real tough sitting in India. I've been through it.
Just wondering - can't Jughead help? Maybe it's too delicate at this stage....
Don't be too picky ..just plonk yourself with some other desi's you may know for the first 2-3 weeks.
Once you are here it may become bit easier to get what you really want.
That's my two cents for what it's worth!!
I guess I am going to get the most decent accommodation that I find before moving to Sydney and carry it from there GK!
Jughead is going to be back in Sydney in mid February and moreover he's been acting a bit aloof so I am going to give him his space.
Thanks for you advice GK!
As they say Down Under - "good on ya mate!"
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