Birthday
Today is Mr Big's birthday. You must be thinking I must be really pathetic to remember, my ex who cheated on me, but with whom I shared the longest relationship so far almost (about 3 years), on his birthday. But the thing is that I am still in friends with someone from his family and so whatever happens in his life is known to me though I would rather not know.
I know that he is really happy with his boyfriend who is throwing him a surprise party today. Though I am no longer angry with Mr Big about the betrayal I still have not reached the point where I can be happy for him.
He was the one who ruined it all for me. After being with him in a long term relationship I have not been able to go back to just having casual sex. I know what a long term relationship can feel like and keep craving for one. But when I do find someone and things begin to go the right way it kinda scares me that once again I may end up getting hurt or cheated on and I start looking for reasons to break up.
The breaking up is not painful anymore unlike the dark hell hole I had been in on breaking up with Mr Big. Ever since him I have had trust issues and I am always trying to play games that people play in relationship but suck at it so I take the easier way out and end the relationship.
He was the one who ruined it all for me. After being with him in a long term relationship I have not been able to go back to just having casual sex. I know what a long term relationship can feel like and keep craving for one. But when I do find someone and things begin to go the right way it kinda scares me that once again I may end up getting hurt or cheated on and I start looking for reasons to break up.
The breaking up is not painful anymore unlike the dark hell hole I had been in on breaking up with Mr Big. Ever since him I have had trust issues and I am always trying to play games that people play in relationship but suck at it so I take the easier way out and end the relationship.
1 comment:
Dear Navinder, I was really saddened to read your latest entry. Relationships are very difficult. I had a similar experience but I decided to stay with my partner and we are still together after 22 years. I have always had trust issues but I have come to realise that a lot of guys just 'think at times with their cocks' But, you will have to take the plunge because it is wonderful to share and experience, both the good and the bad. You are a sensitive man and like me, we have a certain level of suffering in our lives to endure. That is probably a part of our lot in life. But please dont hold back because love is out there in all it's various forms. I would like to chat further with you. My email is hirsutehunter@hotmail.com if you would like to say hello. I love your site and I am learning about so many things which are new to me. Celebrate a day soon just for YOU. Kind Regards. Brentonx
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