Longing and Lament
If music be the food of love, play on,
Give me excess of it; that surfeiting,
The appetite may sicken, and so die.
Give me excess of it; that surfeiting,
The appetite may sicken, and so die.
Yesterday was a strange day. I had one of my famous mood swings and as always rather than talk about it to a person I decided to blog about it. Well as I said in the last post: writing about things on the blog open a door or window of hope for me all the time. After writing the post I got to speak to someone I thought I had to apologize to for my behaviour in the past. I spoke to him (although online) and got things out of my system and hope that with time things would get better between us.
I thought for a while before I send a message on the IM and was happy with the response I got from him. I have decided to stop analyzing everything in my life to the hilt and let things take their course and "go with the flow"!! Though being morally 'upright' (something I picked up from Mr Big) feels nice to begin with but it is a very lonely place and leads to a lot of misunderstandings and pain. I guess at times one needs to be diplomatic and strong and realise that it's impossible to please everybody. Prioritizing is the mantra.
I know al of this is sounds very vague and confusing but that is the place that the dervish is finding himself in this weekend that he has tried to spend by himself holed up in a room in a suburb of Sydney!!!! And to mess up things more I ended up watching Feast of Love on SBS the other night and it brought back some memories I wasn't in the mood of wanting to have deal with.There was a lot I could relate with from the movie. It seems like it never rains but pours in Dervishland. So the wandering continues and I hope that I find my way soon... Yesterday was a strange day. I had one of my famous mood swings and as always rather than talk about it to a person I decided to blog about it. Well as I said in the last post: writing about things on the blog open a door or window of hope for me all the time. After writing the post I got to speak to someone I thought I had to apologize to for my behaviour in the past. I spoke to him (although online) and got things out of my system and hope that with time things would get better between us.
I thought for a while before I send a message on the IM and was happy with the response I got from him. I have decided to stop analyzing everything in my life to the hilt and let things take their course and "go with the flow"!! Though being morally 'upright' (something I picked up from Mr Big) feels nice to begin with but it is a very lonely place and leads to a lot of misunderstandings and pain. I guess at times one needs to be diplomatic and strong and realise that it's impossible to please everybody. Prioritizing is the mantra.
I know al of this is sounds very vague and confusing but that is the place that the dervish is finding himself in this weekend that he has tried to spend by himself holed up in a room in a suburb of Sydney!!!! And to mess up things more I ended up watching Food of Love on SBS the other night and it brought back some memories I wasn't in the mood of wanting to have deal with.There was a lot I could relate with from the movie. It seems like it never rains but pours in Dervishland. So the wandering continues and I hope that I find my way soon...
I thought for a while before I send a message on the IM and was happy with the response I got from him. I have decided to stop analyzing everything in my life to the hilt and let things take their course and "go with the flow"!! Though being morally 'upright' (something I picked up from Mr Big) feels nice to begin with but it is a very lonely place and leads to a lot of misunderstandings and pain. I guess at times one needs to be diplomatic and strong and realise that it's impossible to please everybody. Prioritizing is the mantra.
I know al of this is sounds very vague and confusing but that is the place that the dervish is finding himself in this weekend that he has tried to spend by himself holed up in a room in a suburb of Sydney!!!! And to mess up things more I ended up watching Feast of Love on SBS the other night and it brought back some memories I wasn't in the mood of wanting to have deal with.There was a lot I could relate with from the movie. It seems like it never rains but pours in Dervishland. So the wandering continues and I hope that I find my way soon... Yesterday was a strange day. I had one of my famous mood swings and as always rather than talk about it to a person I decided to blog about it. Well as I said in the last post: writing about things on the blog open a door or window of hope for me all the time. After writing the post I got to speak to someone I thought I had to apologize to for my behaviour in the past. I spoke to him (although online) and got things out of my system and hope that with time things would get better between us.
I thought for a while before I send a message on the IM and was happy with the response I got from him. I have decided to stop analyzing everything in my life to the hilt and let things take their course and "go with the flow"!! Though being morally 'upright' (something I picked up from Mr Big) feels nice to begin with but it is a very lonely place and leads to a lot of misunderstandings and pain. I guess at times one needs to be diplomatic and strong and realise that it's impossible to please everybody. Prioritizing is the mantra.
I know al of this is sounds very vague and confusing but that is the place that the dervish is finding himself in this weekend that he has tried to spend by himself holed up in a room in a suburb of Sydney!!!! And to mess up things more I ended up watching Food of Love on SBS the other night and it brought back some memories I wasn't in the mood of wanting to have deal with.There was a lot I could relate with from the movie. It seems like it never rains but pours in Dervishland. So the wandering continues and I hope that I find my way soon...
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