Second chances...

I sat there for about an hour after you left. I thought about how I could have ever let you go. I thought about how happy we were I thought about you. and only you. that day, was horrible, but amazing, because I saw you. you're the only reason I wake up anymore.

Picture and Poetry Credits : Tragidystrikes

After the post yesterday and a talk with mum I was a bit down. I was so very looking forward to a movie with an old friend and fellow blogger JB. It was nice to know that one of his friends I once met with over a game of bowling 'thought I was cute'. I was flattered but at the same time I hadn't felt a 'spark' or 'chemistry' so was a bit wary. While talking to JB about many things one thing that came up was 'second chances'. It's only rarely that life gives us second chances and a miracle when both the parties really want to give it a go. I was happy for him.
I was happy but at the same time it amplified the feeing of emptiness that I have been feeling since the past few days. the void of not having that someone special to share all that is happening with. So I thought fuck logic and stop thinking. I decided to meet the friend and see what life has in store. But I am not sure if after the outright dismissal my coming around sounded genuine enough or not. It's funny how I have never been in a relationship with someone I was physically attracted to in the first instance or sight. I have never been with someone who I think would be physically my 'type'. I am sucker for beautiful words and when the other person is eloquent or just plain right romantic I toss the looks, age, or specs out of the window and all that matters is the moment. As it is the guys I have been attracted to physically have all turned out to be real losers (na that's harsh) just the 'bad boys' kind, you know the ones your mum asked you to stay away from.
I don't know if it's the weather or if I am home sick but this felling of darkness and loneliness is becoming all encompassing. The light at th end of the tunnel is that when things get that bad the only way is up but it also means that the drought is over and now its time for the rain and in Dervishland it never rains it pours and that can be one complicated scenario ;-) !!!

BTW the movie i.e 'Forgetting Sarah Marshall' so very forgetable. If you have the time and money the movie to watch is 'Paris' staring my favourite Juliette Binoche. Also saw this very nice movie by her on SBS called 'Jet Lag' also staring Jean Reno.