The other side!!!

Picture Credit : Jezebel

There was a time that my day wouldn't feel 'complete' until I had blogged and I was pretty religious about it for about 6 months or so. And now it has been like ages since I posted last. I haven't written about this on the blog before but I suffer from a sort of attention deficit disorder and can't seem to stick to things for long. I was surprised that I blogged for all that time. Of late I have been thinking of calling it wraps and telling you guys that I would be closing down this blog for good but then I am a hoarder and don't like to throw things away. You never know when I may need to come back to blogging again and get advice from anonymous friends from strange lands.

Anyways it poured in Dervish land as bad as it has been pouring is Sydney. Met a few guys and most were promising but no one was pro active and I can never make the first move so the meeting ended with a coffee and lots of talk until I went out to the movies with one and he asked permission to hold hands. At first I burst out laughing but I kinda like guys who take charge. Well long story cut short one thing led to other and the sheets got dirty. The guy (lets call him Daffy) is younger than me (demerits point in my book) and is very genuine and caring. Once again the same thing is happening that happening with Hobbes and me. Being intimate with someone who fits the idea of the prefect man scares me and I make it a point to do things that would scare them away and then when they are gone I am lonely and miserable. Seems like the grass is always green on the other side and I don't appreciate what I have until I have lost it!!! Now that I have intimacy and a nice guy I still want to keep looking just in case prince charming is lurking around the turn at the corner or the street. I am turning into the people I have always despised. But I honestly don't feel for Daffy the way he feels about me and I am scared that if we go on like this I am going to hurt him and that is keeping me from opening up to him and I end up being the bitchy me and I don't like that. I believe in karma and I know what goes around comes around but I am in this dilemma not knowing what to do so I am going to do what I do best. I would act distant and emotionally sterile hoping that would bore Daffy and I could go back to my lonely boring life once again.