Wandering Dervish: The greatest irony

The most ironic thing that I have ever witnessed is that the people we 'love' the most have the capability and the tendency to hurt us the most whereas complete strangers may say or do things that make us smile from the core of our being. Let me give you some examples to make sense of what I mean.

Just a few months before I broke up with Mr. Big it was his birthday. Things weren't very smooth between us and I had a feeling that he might be cheating on me. But I stuck with him out of the guilt of having had cheated on him in the past (later confessed) and partly because I was afraid of being single again. I wanted to make his birthday special so decided to look for the perfect gift for him. He is quiet a collector of things like pens, watches, book etc. It was only later I realized that relationships too were a collection for him, once he had a someone for himself he needed to move to the next. His partners were like trophies that he could flaunt for a while and then he wanted another one.

He also had a collection of autographed pictures of some famous people and I thought of adding to his collection. He is a great fan of Oprah Winfrey and his one of his favourite author is Iyanla Vanzant. I looked online and somehow found the email of both of them and wrote to them telling them my situation and requesting for an autographed picture. I thought Oprah is always giving away stuff on her show and maybe she would send me a picture and even if she didn't cause my mail got lost in the millions other atleast I would know that I tried. I waited for a few days and got no response and then I got a response from Iyanla saying that she was away on tour but would send me something as soon as she reached back home. She kept her promise and did send me the an autographed book. When I got the book I couldn't contain my joy and went to Mr. Big's house and gave him the gift. The very next day when I went to see him I found him locked in a room of his house with the guy I suspected him of having and affair with. When I confronted him he lied right on my face. I remember I had flowers in my hand that I had brought for him.

At that moment I felt so very ashamed and hurt that I couldn't move or talk. All I wanted to do was run away to some far off place curl up and die. It felt as if he had taken out my heart from my chest thrown it on the floor stamped on it an moved on. I didn't want to live to see the next day. Somehow I pulled myself out of the rut and now when I look back on the whole episode I am thankful to God. I am thankful that the incident happened after just 3 years of our relationship and not 13 or 30.

After the incident I decided to do all the things I had missed on when I was in a relationship. I always wanted to travel but Mr Big didn't want to so I decided to travel to all the places I wanted to. I didn't want to wait for someone to come along with whom I could share my travels so I decided to travel alone and make a note of all the special places I visited so that one day I could revisit them with Mr Right.

During one of my travels I was alone on New Years Eve I was attending a New Years dinner at a hotel alone. I was the only one who was seated on a table all alone and everyone else was with family or friends. Exactly at midnight I was waiting to hear from family and friends to wish me because the 1st of January is my birthday. The network was congested and I couldn't receive any calls and then I saw a old French gentleman sitting on the table across mine walk up to me and wish me. He said that he hoped next year I was 'double' what he meant was that I wouldn't be alone. The feelings that I went through after hearings his words cannot be explained. I was happy from the core of my heart. I went upto him to thank him but he said he didn't understand much English and that I could tell the same to his daughter when she came back to the table from the dance floor. I later went to her daughter and asked her to thank her father on my behalf.

In the same manner in response to one of my post Not so single guy said that he'd be may be able to help me move to Australia. The thought made me feel happy beyond what I could ever put to words. It's not the idea of coming to Australia that excited me but the selfless thought of a complete stranger to help me when he has nothing to gain from doing so. I think it's when you have been in love and have experienced the pain of separation and the ecstasy of meeting with the beloved after a long separation that you can understand another person's pain of being away from their love. Mike and Yarravillepaul too left there heartfelt wishes and I do appreciate it all. I don't know whether I would be able to be with Mr Oz in the future but I am hopeful now. I believe that when you think of something you would like to achieve somewhere in the universe with the blessings of god that things begins to take shape. And now I have some of my blog friends praying for me I am sure my wishes will come to life. How the wish will take shape and if it will be worth it all, only time will tell!!

To end the post I am adding some great videos of Iyanla Vanzant.