Emotional Palsy
It's been a rather weird the past few days or weeks. I have met a few people I have really liked but not to the extent of 'falling in love' once again. There has been Aidan who is interesting but
I don't know if my excitement about him is just an overreaction or is it a feeling that would stay for long. It has started to seem to me that it is more of an infatuation. We come from completely different worlds and I am not sure if he'd be able to understand where I am coming from in certain situations.
But I wasn't thinking about it all that much until today when I went and saw Jeremy. I don't want to give him a pseudo name for this blog because I just can't. He is a 17 years old boy with cerebral palsy that one of my friends is a caretaker for. The other day I was speaking to my friend and he told me that Jeremy's parents were looking for another caretaker for him for the weekend and he asked me if I would be interested. I decided to pay him a visit and see where it takes me from there.
What I felt is nothing close to what I had imagined I would feel. I didn't feel pity or empathy but I genuinely felt this all encompassing care and love for Jeremy. Everytime he would clinch my hand in his fist I wouldn't want him to let go. I just wanted to sit there and keep stroking is hair or just hold his hand. It made me think how it would be if I wasn't able to express myself and how frustrating it would be if I couldn't show my love to someone I really liked. In front of that all my problems seemed non-existent. I have decided to tell the parents that I am interested and see where it takes me but I know that I felt that I have this love inside me and if anyone I know deserves that care and love then it's Jeremy for the sole reason that I know for sure that he would never take it for granted.
I don't know if my excitement about him is just an overreaction or is it a feeling that would stay for long. It has started to seem to me that it is more of an infatuation. We come from completely different worlds and I am not sure if he'd be able to understand where I am coming from in certain situations.
But I wasn't thinking about it all that much until today when I went and saw Jeremy. I don't want to give him a pseudo name for this blog because I just can't. He is a 17 years old boy with cerebral palsy that one of my friends is a caretaker for. The other day I was speaking to my friend and he told me that Jeremy's parents were looking for another caretaker for him for the weekend and he asked me if I would be interested. I decided to pay him a visit and see where it takes me from there.
What I felt is nothing close to what I had imagined I would feel. I didn't feel pity or empathy but I genuinely felt this all encompassing care and love for Jeremy. Everytime he would clinch my hand in his fist I wouldn't want him to let go. I just wanted to sit there and keep stroking is hair or just hold his hand. It made me think how it would be if I wasn't able to express myself and how frustrating it would be if I couldn't show my love to someone I really liked. In front of that all my problems seemed non-existent. I have decided to tell the parents that I am interested and see where it takes me but I know that I felt that I have this love inside me and if anyone I know deserves that care and love then it's Jeremy for the sole reason that I know for sure that he would never take it for granted.
4 comments:
jeremy deserves someone like you... i always want the best for him... i think by introducing u to him last night... i feel like i have given another good friend for him to rely on.
Sometimes we need to experience things well 'outside' ourselves to learn more about ourselves! Mr Hyde.
I agree! I do not know you in real life but from your blog I know Jeremy deserves someone like you. He needs you.
neverever land's man
Thanks everyone for your comments.
Mr Hyde how have u been?? Long time no c???
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